Second Star to the Right

One day I will stop missing Macau.

Today is not that day.

It pops up in the most random of times: like when I pack a salad for lunch and I think about how much I miss my China tupperware with the rubber ring and the clips on the sides that made it airtight.

Or when I make hummus and it doesn't taste the same without those awesome Portugese chickpeas with the seasoning by Compal.

Or how much I freaking miss Philippine mangoes. That one may NEVER go away. I will miss those forever, I think. America can genetically modify their fruits all they want, but they will never be as good as those damn mangoes.

I went to a Thai restaurant the other day - the green papaya salad was spicy, but more towards ripe papaya salad. I think they missed the memo about "green" and that made me miss Tuk Tuk and their lettuce wraps, pad Thai, and those delicious coconut blended drinks. So. Delicious. It made me laugh though, over the distinction between American Chinese and China Chinese. That must extend to all other foods as well. What I wouldn't give for some Catfish sushi (our favorite in Macau)...

I keep thinking my reentry process is done and then a moment reminds me it was my home.

I miss Clara Chameleon. I wear my necklace from Courtney and Marley all the time and miss them millions.

Part of my problem, I'm sure, is that I'm still living with Mom and Morgan. I LOVE living at home - for the obvious reasons. Free rent, food, my bed is comfy cozy, my dogs and cats are here, there is a laundry facility (at least I do my own laundry, right?). I miss having my own space: room for things. My books on a bookshelf, my paintings on a wall, my comforter on my bed. I need to make this move permanent, or I will continue to mourn what I miss about Macoma.

In that vein, I am talking with a friend about moving to the city in January. She's really cool - Kelli and I have been friends since college and reconnected over the summer. She's going to LSU Nursing and with working more and more over there, not to mention I have always wanted to live in NOLA, it makes sense.

Another reason I'm having a hard time is the adjustment period that comes with any new job. I have been relearning American equipment, which can be tough, and the whole nature of this new job is entirely different from theater/circus. Being in a state of constant production is much more temporary than I am used to. At the circus, during production, we were working toward something that was going to stay up a while. Event production is almost opposite. It's a little like the two week stock I did in summer stock, but even MORE temporary. While I love that every day is new, it can be overwhelming. And finding where I fit in in this new company is a challenge, as well.

I was asked today by one of my bosses what I want to be when I grow up. Does anyone ever really know the answer to that question? Or is it just me?

That being said, (asked..) I was truthful: I have a difficult time thinking that far in advance. But I am happy where I am and I cannot picture myself doing anything else. Still. It all comes back to that lecture Jim gave me all the time in college: If you can picture yourself doing anything else, do it. Because this business will eat you alive otherwise. {I may be paraphrasing there}

But until I can work out whatever is going on up here (motions around head), remember "Second star to the right, and straight on til morning." Think on it - That Peter Pan. He was on to something.