Today's my last day at THODW. I'm going to miss the hell out of that place. I'm leaving before I hate it because it's been such an amazing journey and part of my life and I don't ever want to resent it or regret it like I have seen people do.
I started here a terrified little girl and now I'm not. Simply. I have new hobbies, new interests, a zeal for traveling, a faith in myself that's new, confidence to travel alone - that's definitely new, most importantly - the most amazing and supportive network of friends from all over the world who will always understand this part of my life. Always. And I have Macau and the people here to thank for all of that.
I might even return to Asia one day. Not immediately, I will need some time to get over this experience and properly mourn my leaving, but I'll come back one day. I need to dive Raja Ampat again, after all.
This experience meant so much to me that I'm ignoring the mounds of crap all over my room to write a the first of what I am sure will be several posts dedicated to how I feel about leaving because I am still trying to work it out for myself.
I'm sad to be leaving the first place I have called home since I moved to LSU. I'm sad to be leaving my yoga classes because they centered me and grounded me and gave me a coping mechanism. I wish I had traveled more - because the world is so big and the slice of it I have explored so tiny in comparison. I am going to miss my coworkers - all 400 of them. Well, maybe most of them. Ok, some of them. They are the most passionate, beautiful, caring, loving people I have ever met. We're a family. Together we acheived some awesome things and I am so proud to say that I was a part of them.
Most of all, I am proud of myself. Because when I got here, I thought I might make it 6 months and then flee home quaking in terror. Instead, I am walking out a member of the creation team for the show, having made it and flourished in my job. I am proud of the work I accomplished, because I did work really hard, as we all did.
No regrets. Not a single, solitary one.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
To My Concerned Readers:
I know you are all sad as my time in Macau draws to a close because that means my lively and entertaining blog that approximately two people (including Justin) read will end.
Have no fear.
I am vacating Macau, but this girl's story is not ending. I'll write as long as I have something to say, which we all know is unlikely to ever change.
I got things to say.
I may change my blog site when I get home and rework some things in my free time, edit entries to include pictures of the things about which I speak and have spoken.
As long as Justin keeps reading, I will write!
Plus, I'm sure readjusting to life post-Macau will have its own adventures relevant to expat living!
Have no fear.
I am vacating Macau, but this girl's story is not ending. I'll write as long as I have something to say, which we all know is unlikely to ever change.
I got things to say.
I may change my blog site when I get home and rework some things in my free time, edit entries to include pictures of the things about which I speak and have spoken.
As long as Justin keeps reading, I will write!
Plus, I'm sure readjusting to life post-Macau will have its own adventures relevant to expat living!
Friday, December 14, 2012
Random Acts
I am preparing to leave Macau. My bags are in the process of being packed, my room is looking like someone tossed it and my first box has already arrived in Mandeville.
Reflecting on my time here: there's been a lot of bad and a lot of tears.
But it's so hard to leave because there has been so much good. I came here to work and instead, I learned how to live.
Life is not about the bad moments, I'm taking away all the good instead.
Macau is not taxi drivers passing me by on the street, but instead the taxi drivers who love when a Westerner gets into their cab so that they can practice their English.
It's not the dreary weather and omnipresent rain clouds; it's the bus attendant on the street who held an umbrella over my head when it was raining and the bus was late and all I had was my raincoat.
Instead of throwing away old clothes or clothes I've never worn, it's giving them to our cleaner from the Philippines who's supporting her family back home on a salary I remember struggling on to provide for myself alone.
It's not the people who can never have enough name brand things; it's the people who go on a diving trip to Indonesia and leave behind everything because the boys on the boat wore the same clothes every day and their gear was worn and we didn't need our's because of closets full of namebrand clothes from Macau and our gear was samples from vendors.
It truly doesn't take much, does it? This life has been so fruitful and so good to me. I am so grateful and so blessed for everything.
Reflecting on my time here: there's been a lot of bad and a lot of tears.
But it's so hard to leave because there has been so much good. I came here to work and instead, I learned how to live.
Life is not about the bad moments, I'm taking away all the good instead.
Macau is not taxi drivers passing me by on the street, but instead the taxi drivers who love when a Westerner gets into their cab so that they can practice their English.
It's not the dreary weather and omnipresent rain clouds; it's the bus attendant on the street who held an umbrella over my head when it was raining and the bus was late and all I had was my raincoat.
Instead of throwing away old clothes or clothes I've never worn, it's giving them to our cleaner from the Philippines who's supporting her family back home on a salary I remember struggling on to provide for myself alone.
It's not the people who can never have enough name brand things; it's the people who go on a diving trip to Indonesia and leave behind everything because the boys on the boat wore the same clothes every day and their gear was worn and we didn't need our's because of closets full of namebrand clothes from Macau and our gear was samples from vendors.
It truly doesn't take much, does it? This life has been so fruitful and so good to me. I am so grateful and so blessed for everything.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
I'm On (Was On...) a Boat...
I just got back from spending 10 days sailing around Indonesia. I know, my life is so hard. I thought this many times as I was lounging on a deck chair wrapped in a fresh towel after a dive with a cold bottle of water in my hand sailing across the most beautiful water I have ever seen. Try to picture it, if you will.
After a hellish week, I wasn't sure I wanted to go. And let me clear the air, this trip has been planned and paid for since April. I have been looking forward to this since I started diving lessons 15 months ago. Raja Ampat is an awesome dive area. But with Robert and everything going on in life, it took every ounce of will in my body to drag myself 24 hours to Sorong, Indonesia - AKA the middle of nowhere - to get on a boat and forget everything for a while.
Never looked back.
I love the water, I always have. I like floating in it, on it, being on a boat, sea spray in my face. I like skipping my feet in the wake of a boat. I like listening to it, seeing it, watching it. I like the feeling of being weightless and being underwater for an hour at a time is the best way I could think of to spend my time. Diving is like yoga, once I get underwater, I don't think about anything but what I see and breathing. I can't, it's just not possible.
We were flying out of HK in the early afternoon, so I woke up early to finish checking my packing and my kit and to run up to the theater to print my ferry ticket which I booked, but neglected to print. It had been a tough week. The journey wasn't easy. Much like Boracay, if you want to get to the good places, you have to be motivated.
Taxi from apartment to ferry terminal. Ferry from Taipa to HK. One plane from HK to Jakarta. Shuttle from International to Domestic. One plane from Jakarta to Makassar. Run to connection because plane was delayed. Pray your bags made it with you. One plane from Makassar to Sorong. 20 hours since you left home and you've arrived. Gone is the dark, dreary wintry weather Macau/HK were showering your way. Hello to BLUE skies, white puffy clouds, warm breezes, and the smell of the ocean. I couldn't make this stuff up, it really just writes itself!
Take no notice of the fact that the Sorong arrival area is - ahem - lacking in facilities. That's a clue that you might be in the right place. Who cares if the luggage conveyor belt appears to be moving at the speed of a gentleman peddling a bike out back to operate it? And if your luggage appears dead last, minutes behind everyone elses that is the least of your worries, because you made it, your gear made it, and guess what. One more taxi ride to go, then get on a speed boat. That liveaboard and a dream await!
After a hellish week, I wasn't sure I wanted to go. And let me clear the air, this trip has been planned and paid for since April. I have been looking forward to this since I started diving lessons 15 months ago. Raja Ampat is an awesome dive area. But with Robert and everything going on in life, it took every ounce of will in my body to drag myself 24 hours to Sorong, Indonesia - AKA the middle of nowhere - to get on a boat and forget everything for a while.
Never looked back.
I love the water, I always have. I like floating in it, on it, being on a boat, sea spray in my face. I like skipping my feet in the wake of a boat. I like listening to it, seeing it, watching it. I like the feeling of being weightless and being underwater for an hour at a time is the best way I could think of to spend my time. Diving is like yoga, once I get underwater, I don't think about anything but what I see and breathing. I can't, it's just not possible.
We were flying out of HK in the early afternoon, so I woke up early to finish checking my packing and my kit and to run up to the theater to print my ferry ticket which I booked, but neglected to print. It had been a tough week. The journey wasn't easy. Much like Boracay, if you want to get to the good places, you have to be motivated.
Taxi from apartment to ferry terminal. Ferry from Taipa to HK. One plane from HK to Jakarta. Shuttle from International to Domestic. One plane from Jakarta to Makassar. Run to connection because plane was delayed. Pray your bags made it with you. One plane from Makassar to Sorong. 20 hours since you left home and you've arrived. Gone is the dark, dreary wintry weather Macau/HK were showering your way. Hello to BLUE skies, white puffy clouds, warm breezes, and the smell of the ocean. I couldn't make this stuff up, it really just writes itself!
Take no notice of the fact that the Sorong arrival area is - ahem - lacking in facilities. That's a clue that you might be in the right place. Who cares if the luggage conveyor belt appears to be moving at the speed of a gentleman peddling a bike out back to operate it? And if your luggage appears dead last, minutes behind everyone elses that is the least of your worries, because you made it, your gear made it, and guess what. One more taxi ride to go, then get on a speed boat. That liveaboard and a dream await!
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