You have never met me and you probably never will, but I think it is important that you hear about what a wonderful man your grandfather was. I had trouble writing this and it took me a couple of days to get through because I just do not want to admit that he is gone.
I do not have a specific story to tell you, or even a specific memory of him. But if ever there was a beacon of God's grace, it was Robert Chance.
I know he always went out of his way to greet me when I made it to church after a time away because he missed me. Even if it meant we were the last two people standing in a congregation of 700 people. He always made me feel important. I know that I always went out of my way to stand in his receiving line at the end of service for one of his hugs, even in high school, because I knew he cared and I have rarely felt such unconditional love as he freely gave. I cannot emphasize how much he and his friendship mean to me.
He wrote me a couple months ago to ask me to join him in Israel, a trip my family was taking with him. I had to decline because I had already paid for a diving trip to Raja Ampat, but I promised I would see him in December and I asked him to take me next time they journey to the Holy Land. I am filled with regret at not taking the journey to Israel with him. I will never stop regretting that choice. Because it would have meant seeing my friend again, getting another hug, receiving more words of encouragement in an way that only he knows how to give.
My mom said it perfectly: "He had a way of making everyone feel like they had a special relationship with them, that they were his favorite." But every relationship he cultivatedwas special, because he truly cared.
Robert, along with Sherri and Don MacMasters, walked me through two or three years of Disciple while I was in high school. I learned fellowship there. I learned how important small groups are. Those three taught me that adults could be cool, they can be trusted, but most of all, they taught me that adults can be your friends and that is an awe-inspiring thing when you are a teenager. I had a rough time in high school and these three kept me grounded and sane at a time I needed them the most. They inspired faith in me and taught me how to lead a life that would never be easy, but would always be grounded in faith. They taught me that when I needed a light to my path all I had to do was come home and they would provide it, my support network would always be there even if I was not. I was devastated to leave them behind when I graduated, though I think my heart never really did leave them completely. Robert understood kids most of all and I think the people you will come to see he affected most are the kids he mentored all along his path.
Through all of my travels, my time away from home, Robert has always encouraged me. He knew my heart and knew that all I have ever wanted to do is go home. One day. He understands needing to fly before coming home to build a nest. He emailed me to say he was thinking about me and that he was praying for me and it is funny how those emails always seem to come on a day when I needed them the most.
Robert Chance was St. Timothy's UMC to me and I am gutted at the idea of stepping back into that church and knowing I will not see his face. To be honest, I don't know if I can do it. I may not be strong enough. There were times when I doubted the church and I still do because I am human and the church is human and I know enough to know just how fallible a church can be. But Robert was different. He had a gift for people and he was magnetic. His laugh, which I can hear clear as a bell even though it has been almost a year since we last saw each other, his kind eyes, his hugs, his smell - he ALWAYS smelled so good. I can remember many conversations with my friends about his hugs and how good he always smelled. The ubiquitous bow tie. The epitome of a gentleman. The likes of which the world may never know again.
The last couple of times I spoke to Robert, we were emailing back and forth. I had decided to come home from Macau, where I have been working for 2.5 years and he was encouraging. As always. He never stopped believing in me. He promised I would get work and wrote how happy he was to be slowing down. He loved his work and he was good at it, but he was over the moon about his new grandson (you) and wanted to have plenty of time to watch you grow up. I'm sorry he will not get that opportunity.
He was understanding and empathetic. He was practical, honest, and gentle. He was not afraid to cry and sometimes he did, because he felt that much. It made him that much more human, that much stronger in my eyes. He was so fond of his hospital ministry, when he would visit others in the hospital while they were sick, and I can only imagine the countless numbers of people he brought comfort to. His passion for the Lord and for Israel I can remember even back then. I always wanted to take that trip to Israel with him.
But I'm lucky: my mom visited him in the hospital before she left Israel and she was able to tell him I love him. I am so glad he knew how I felt, because he never missed an opportunity to tell me he loved me. She says his work on this earth must have been done for him to be called home so soon, I have to trust that because losing him hurts.
So Robert, if there is anyone waiting for me when my time comes, I would hope it is you. I could do with another one of those hugs right now and I can't wait to see what bow tie they have prepared for you there. I hope it's shiny!
Through all of the deep sadness and tears I and so many others feel right now, I am confident in a few things. Robert Chance was a man of God. Your grandfather loved you. He loved your mom so much. He was incredibly proud of Natalie and she was always the apple of his eye. I can remember him talking about her even when I was much younger and being in awe of how much love he had for his child. He was thrilled when she got married and when he told me that she was expecting you, I could hear the excitement and pride in his email. And I am confident that when we retire from this world and join your Pops in Heaven, he will greet us with a bow tie, a hug, a smile, and maybe even a tear in his eye because he is so proud of us. Don't ever forget how much he loved you.
Thanks for sharing him with us, Natalie. It could not have always been easy, but I hope you know how much he was loved and how many lives he touched!
Love,
Alex Manuel
PS. Bow ties are cool. They were always cool. Everyone can wear a tie, but only a really special person can wear a bow tie and make it look good, like your grandfather. Maybe that is the most important thing to remember: only an incredibly awesome person can rock a bow tie.
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