Uh Oh, I Feel a Soapbox Moment Coming On...

I have a secret. I'm not actually 18 anymore. I am of an age where people are getting married and having kids.  If we're being honest, my friends have been doing that for... A while now. Which is great!

For them.

I have never been the conventional girl. In high school and college, I was always busy doing something. I was in clubs, extra-cirricular activities, studying, working, going to football games with my dad. Because that was the way I liked it. That's the way I wanted to do things. I like being busy. I like the thrill of flirting from one extreme to the next. I like not having down time because when you have down time, you think.

But here's the caveat.

I have never pretended to be anything else.

I have always pushed myself, challenged myself. When I'm not, I'm not happy. I'm bored, useless, listless.  I thrive on no sleep, adrenaline rushes.  I work best under pressure. I know all of this about myself.

I have never wanted to be "settled down". I don't know if that means married, I don't know if that means kids. What I do know is that where I am right now is exactly where I need to be. And I relish that for what it is. One day, hopefully very far down the road, I will look back on all of my experiences and say "Hmm. That's what led me here."  I honestly believe that it will all fall into place like a well put together puzzle one day.

Sometimes I think my family must be disappointed in me. I wasn't content to stay home, in the South, get married, stand in a kitchen barefoot and pregnant, bakin' pies and washin' clothes.

Instead, I moved to Louisville, then DC, then halfway around the world to Macau. And though I hear the South calling me home, I resist, because I know that contentment lies therein. And I absolutely know just how dangerous a thing contentment can be.

Don't get me wrong, my family has never done anything but love and support me and help me move all the way to China if that's what I thought I needed to do. My mom always tells me how tired she is of moving me all over the world. That being said, she would do it again tomorrow if I asked her to.

So if I get a tattoo, if I dread my hair, if I dye those dreds hot hot hot pink, and then I pierce my ears all the way up the side, I'm not doing it because I want to buck the trend or rebel. I'm doing it because I want to and I want everyone to know that I'm not afraid of what this world thinks or of this life. We only get one on this earth as far as I know, and I want to live it right. My way or the highway.